Thursday, December 20, 2007

printer puke

so tim, if you have any questions about how we're doing without you....

twas the night before thursday
and all one could hear
was one printer stirring
its name was lanier

job after job
was directed its way
as the whole church prepared
for christmas day

flyers, programs
bulletins and more!
children's handouts
invitations galore!

suddenly an error
appeared on the screen
an error that i
had not ever seen

"waste toner is full"
it whined, "empty now"
it beeped and it blurped
(it practically had a cow)

i followed directions
but must have screwed up
as suddenly, without warning
the lanier blew up!

i stood in a powdery
cloud of coloration
coughing and choking
and cursing the abomination...

that is lanier, the deceptive!
lanier, the snake!
lanier, the cross-eyed
punk-faced mistake!

yay savin! go xerox!
and ricoh as well
but lanier, may you rot
forever, in ...


Wednesday, December 19, 2007

they keep getting better...

fast track to the doghouse

according to victoria taft, well known portland radio personality,
the perfect christmas gift for "that special someone" is a gift certificate!

for botox.

merry christmas, honey...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

bad influence

the title of the children's christmas play (which will be performed this weekend with much pomp and ceremony by the tots and teens of grace community church)...
is the influence of a baby king.

(well ... actually there's no the, it's just influence of a baby king, but it was printed on the invitations with a "the" so we're changing it for all intents and purposes. don't tell the publisher.)

any-who, the title. riveting, huh? [eye roll]
i like ben sadler, our worship director's idea better:

children under the influence

hee hee

would you give money to this guy?

Monday, December 17, 2007

stinkin hilarious


incidentally, they spelled despicably wrong.

edit: they fixed the link. it's not hilarious anymore, just gross. don't click on it.

disgruntled, yet sympathetic.

every morning i listen to 860 kpam while getting ready for work.
i like hearing bob miller, pat boyle, and ron calhan banter about politics, sports, and trivia.

today, monday, i turned on my radio just as the alarm sounded (as i always do), and instead of bob's familiar voice, i hear a stranger. a strange man invading my monday morning!

the strange man told me that bob, my morning caffeine, my weekday catharsis, my friend...
was in the hospital ... had survived a serious motorcycle accident.

and i, still in my sleep-stupor, was genuinely upset.
what right has bob to drive motorcycles irresponsibly (it was his fault) when i and so many others depend on him?!?

so i muddled through my monday morning, disconcerted, confused...

thanks a lot, bob.

oh, and ... uh ... get well soon.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Saturday, December 15, 2007

i love it when a plan comes together :)

i think it was someone from the a-team who said that. i don't remember which one, though ~ i was never big on anyone from that show except mr. T.

anyway, the plan... worship rehearsal last night was awesome! we had our first practice for the christmas eve service, and it is going to be sooooo cool! awesome ideas, and it all totally came together...

5:30pm christmas eve ~ like seriously, be there.

Friday, December 14, 2007

realms of grammati-lunacy

i love christmas carols. i currently have over 50 hours of christmas music saved on my computer ~ everything from handel and vivaldi classics to mariah carey.

sometimes, while listening or transcribing lyrics (for worship powerpoint at church) i come across a line that jolts me out of my routine ... and i spend a few minutes pondering one of the great traditions of this season:

ridiculous lyrics.

for example: one of the classics (and, incidentally, one of my favorites)... angels from the realms of glory

angels from the realms of glory, wing your flight o'er all the earth
-ok, we're a little weird with the "winging," but whatever
ye who sang creation's story, now proclaim messiah's birth
-that's pretty.
come and worship, come and worship, worship christ the newborn king!
-this is turning into a great worship song!

shepherds in the fields abiding, watching o'er your flocks by night
-can you pack any more shepherd cliches in one line?
god with man is now residing, yonder shines the infant light.
-infant light? sounds like e.t.
come and worship, come and worship....

-this is where it gets weird.
sages leave your contemplations, brighter visions beam afar.
-scottie, beam me to the brighter visions! ... ok bad joke.
seek the great desire of nations, ye have seen his natal star.
natal star" sound like a mediocre christian punk band. except they'd spell it, like, "nataLL staRR"....
come and...

i love the message of the song, but "natal star"??? come on, people...

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

a few pics

so i haven't actually taken many pics recently...
but i've been spending a lot of time going through my archives and honing my photoshop skills.
so... here's a few.

i took this one last spring, back when i was still using my point&shoot. i like how we're both represented in the shot and our faces and hands appear to complete each other. :D

better half

took this one in september, i think...

to be a princess...

this one is from this last august. we went down to san diego county, ca for 2 days for joel's grandma's funeral. his dad and stepmom have an amazing rose garden.

the yellow rose of ... california


we're moving! eventually....

yup! we're selling the house.
joel will be starting school full time this summer (part time this january), and we simply won't be able to stay in the house.

we met with a realtor this weekend and began the process of selling our little home in a down market. he was actually really optimistic. woohoo.

we plan to put the house on the market in mid-january, and once it's posted we aren't legally allowed to make any changes without hiring a contractor. (oregon law - practically all you can do at that point is move the furniture and replace the toilet paper.)

so.... between now and then we need to complete as much as we can of the following list:
~replace electrical sockets
~replace front door
~repaint trim throughout house
~replace moulding in study
~re-roof garage
~replace bathtub surround
~tear down old fence in the backyard
~replace glass panes in garage windows
~get a bathroom mirror, instead of the broken shard we're currently using ;)
~install kitchen light

last, but definitely not least...
~pack up 90% of about 3 billion books!

Monday, December 10, 2007

does it get any more christmasy?

on sunday afternoon we made christmas cookies
4 different kinds!
with friends
and family
and even strangers
and it was loud and messy
sometimes loud enough to drown out mannheim steamroller, ringing in the background
and cookie frosting and sprinkles were flying everywhere
and the seahawks beat the cardinals on the muted tv

and it was snowing....

Friday, December 7, 2007

fixed! the dishwasher. (after 2 weeks)
...and the bathroom plumbing. (after 2 months)

2 things that make life good.

now, a picture. this is the front of this year's christmas invitations for the church.
stock photo from, photoshoppery by *me*.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

merry christmas!