JO3L, teh 1337 h4xx0r of juztic3
JOEL, the highly computer literate person of justice
m4h hu5bnd iz teh 1337 h4xx02 5ki11z!!1!11!! ^-^
my husband is a highly computer literate man of utmost accomplishment, even finesse! (smiling person of eastern origin agrees.)
hiz ID g0t haxx0r3d. >:[ suxx0rz. h3 l057 M3G4 $$$$$$$$$ F4IL TT_TT
unfortunately, he fell prey to that scourge of contemporary society that strikes even the most well protected: identity theft! (this causes our keyboard to frown and furrow its forehead.) we are extremely displeased about this failure of our society to prevent such heinous crime!
(crying person of eastern origin agrees.)
h3 hax3d teh n00b5 EMAIL H4H4H4H4H4H4H4!!!111!!1!!!!1!!1111!
in an ultimate act of self protection (and retribution) he obtained access to the delinquent's email through an adroit series of computer-ish actions! maniacal laughter ensues!
h3 h4z teh 4ddr3ss & 3v3rtihng f0r teh c0p5!!11! n0m n0m!!!1
he plans to provide our law enforcement personnel with the perpetrator's email address, telephone number, physical address, and a list of lawless transactions.
we intend to respond to the offender with utmost grace and tact.