Monday, December 14, 2009

falling in a winter wonderland

sunday dawned a beautiful day! ice shimmered in the pale pink sunrise, mist lent a fairytale softness to sharp gray buildings, every tree glistened with ephemeral frosty christmas sparkles ... a beautiful day.

and how appropriate that such a day should be a sunday - a celebration day, less than two weeks before christmas!

for once, we actually made time to enjoy the beauty before church, even though joel was preaching and i was on worship team and speaking a transition. we left our warm home early, giggling and skidding on ice, for a hot starbucks breakfast. it was a perfect morning date and we arrived at church anticipating a blessed time of community and worship. and after that - freedom! our first free sunday in months! time with family, each other, and a few good football games filled the agenda out nicely.

excited, i filled my arms with the usual sunday accessories and stepped gingerly onto the sparkling parking lot. "wow, this is slick!" was the last thought that flitted through my mind as i attempted another step.

a terrific crack sounded in both ears as my head bounced off the ground. my body followed rapidly (it usually does) and i found myself lying on my back with the worst headache i've ever had. and that's saying something!

as my demised caramel brulee latte froze in brown trails, joel half led, half carried me into the almost empty church building. i fought the flashes clouding my vision, and felt the giantest ostrich egg on the back of my head. scary? uh, yeah.

i did not play flute on worship or speak my transition. and joel did not preach. (he was mercifully relieved when low numbers+compassion restructured the morning's service.) we did not watch football.

i am not, however, feeling sorry for myself - not a bit! stuff like this is becoming fairly typical. i steeled myself when i thought i married an accident prone man ... and proceeded in the following 5 years to get into numerous car accidents, have 2 surgeries, allergic reactions, weird illnesses, and now, a concussion. (a full list would wear one out!) i don't know why the poor man still wants to go into medicine - he certainly has enough opportunity to use his nursing skills at home! (and is always gracious, patient, and kind.)

so i am now watching christmas movies, having finally convinced my pupils to behave and dilate to the same size. this forced pause has been good for me; they usually are.
i stressed: is my christmas ruined now (since i'll probably have symptoms for at least a month)? what if i can't finish my christmas shopping? what if i can't finish sending cards and decorating and making cookies for the neighbors? what if i can't go to any christmas parties? is christmas ruined?

for the answer i turn to my usual source of wise advice - the grinch. ;)

"and the grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling: "how could it be so?
it came without ribbons! it came without tags!
it came without packages, boxes or bags!"
and he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
then the grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"maybe christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"maybe christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

of course it means a little bit more. christmas can't be taken away by a measly little concussion.
christmas is thankfulness, and tiny baby Jesus.
christmas is the glory song of angels, and the wonder of baby Emmanuel in a shed.
christmas is a promise fulfilled and hope made real.

merry christmas from the concussed but thankful one!

4 comments:

Unknown said...

aww, this is a bittersweet post, Lani, but had to laugh at your ability to always turn things around in the humorous kinda way. i told tim last night that at the rate you're going....well....yeah....maybe you need to stay housebound for awhile. ;)

seriously though, thanks for spending time with us despite your concussive state of being. and let us know if you need anything at all this week. we love you! -h

kristal said...

so glad you chose to learn rather than wallow in self-pity how ever deserving you were of the latter. so glad you're gonna be ok and praying it is a merry christmas and happy birthday this year.

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