i overslept and my eyes hurt and all they were playing on npr was political news and i didn’t have breakfast and when i left for work nw natural was digging holes in front of my house. the man said that i should have received a notice. i didn’t receive any notice.
i think i’ll move to vancouver.
when i got to work, i stepped in wet dog poop and burned my tongue on my hot chocolate. the nativity scene only had two wise men, and my plurk karma dropped 14 points! nobody likes me. i bet they’d like me in vancouver.
i have two big design projects to finish this week and i’m not feeling inspired. i can’t turn black into maroon in photoshop. who needs maroon anyway? maroon is a stupid color. i bet they don’t even have maroon in vancouver. i bet they made maroon illegal and if you make anything maroon they throw you into color jail. that’s what i think.
some noob sent me a 10mb email. it almost killed my noob server. noobs.
my office was freezing. i couldn’t park in my driveway when i went home for lunch because the nw natural people put a pile of gravel in front of it.
after work i went to the gas station and i kind of forgot how to open my gas cap. i popped the hood 4 times and then i remembered that i have to push the lever, not pull, and the gas station man looked at me like this.
at safeway i couldn’t find the sour cream and the checkout lady didn’t even put my groceries in my cart and then my car wouldn’t start and i thought i’d have to walk home and then it started. and then i got home and nw natural had turned the furnace off and it was SO COLD and they said that they wouldn’t turn it on for two hours. they said i had to have the area around the furnace clear. clearing the area around the furnace took two hours and i didn't have time to get the christmas decorations out.
i had to change the light in the laundry room. i couldn’t figure out how to get the fixture off, and when i texted joel to ask him i forgot to turn on T9 and when i tried to turn it on i accidentally sent it and it said “mdtdpmgmd.” i bet cell phones have T9 automatic in vancouver. and i bet husbands are never stuck in chemistry lab when the lights stop working and i bet the lights never stop working in vancouver.
i forgot to buy tortillas and the tacos were stale.
the furnace man said our thermostat doesn’t work.
i didn’t get to read my book.
and the dow jones dropped 680 points.
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5 comments:
wow! what a day, Lani! thanks for the sob story, it made me feel like my day was cake compared to yours....even with a screaming babe in my arms and a terrible headache. And, no, I'm not being sarcastic this time. :)
Give me a call if you'd like to hang out sometime this week....and remember, Tim's just a call away when the lights go out or your car won't start! ;)
I don't know whether to laugh or cry after reading your story!
Some days are just like that...even in Vancouver!
Vancouver WA or Vancouver BC? Because in Vancouver BC they would tar and feather us if they realized we were from south of Vancouver WA
j-ditty? oh my goodness.
and nuh-uh. i've been there. :P
such a terrible day, yet expressed so elegantly, it almost sounds lovely! sorry it was a terrible, no good, rotten, horrible day.
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