so... i got the results of my blood tests back... aaand they're fine! i may have holes in my brain but my blood levels are normal.
i did come off the amitriptyline (the psycho cat drug) because of side effects - it was making me very tired and sad all the time. :(
so now i am depending on higher doses of the topamax (dopamax!) to work... i am slowly increasing it - no change yet, but i'm optimistic-a nice change from when i was on the psycho cat drug! it's weird to only be taking 2... or 3... prescription drugs again.